Don't go for second best...

weekends are wonderful things for me. I get to gather my life. I get to sleep. I get to do things for myself instead of 79 eighth graders.

today... i didn't do much of anything. went to the dollar store, did laundry (that was kind of a big deal), went to an intramural game, went to a soccer game, went to TB with my sister, and went to Target! I guess i did somethings.

this week kind of made me think a lot about my friends. I don't really know why. I have been thinking about who in my life has stuck around? I have been thinking about who in my life is easy to be friends with? I have been thinking about who in my life i really truly need?

And it's a list. It's a lot of people, a lot of different, unique people. It's a lot of people that 5 or even 3 years ago I would have never thought i would want in my life long term. There are people whose opinions mean so much to me and there are people who i would just do about anything for.

But the thing i realized this week was that maybe they don't want to be that to me. Maybe they don't want me to do just about anything for. Maybe they want me to just allow them to be an acquaintance. But i don't know that I am ready to give up on them. I don't know if I can just allow them to slowly walk out of my life. But at the same time, it's not really my choice. I guess I have to let them decide and be okay with whatever their decision may be.

but how am i to be okay with that?